The carnival in my head



I took this photo from the ferris wheel on the Santa Monica Pier... no wonder I liked it...



As final preparations are made for a much needed vacation, there is a full-on carnival going on in my head. Here is an example, from a conversation I had with a friend (who will double as house-sitter & cat entertainer during the vacation). Before reading this, keep in mind that she has stayed at my house plenty of times & is one of my best friends, as well as a co-worker at my “grown up” job.

She walks in my office & asks, “So are you looking forward to your vacation?”

“Yes but there is still so much to do I have a huge pile of laundry at home and a couple of things at work that need to be finished and I just remembered I need to call the electrician did I tell you that we got the new light fixtures some of them I put up but some I can’t reach that reminds me did I tell you there isn’t a light fixture in the kitchen but don’t worry the wires are capped I just wanted you to know in case you went in there to get a snack or something at night & you flip the switch and the light doesn’t come on but don’t worry that it will burn the house down because I capped the wires did I tell you that already?”

Keep in mind, that’s just a sample. I’m pretty sure I talked much longer than that in a nebulous, nonsensical way, with one thought leading to another topic as my mind hopped from one carnival ride to another. I don’t really remember the rest of it thanks to the lights dimming. That happens when you say an entire manic monologue in one breath. Call it the Darwinian response to people who can’t shut up. “Want to keep talking without the benefit of oxygen? Go ahead Ace, you’ll blackout eventually.”

Although I would prefer the carnival in my head disappear, the Santa Monica Pier always makes me happy.

Yes, this vacation has come at just the right time- I’m feeling a bit burned out on every level… which is why I haven’t been blogging much lately. Stress doesn’t lend itself to creativity. If I’m not feeling creative, what am I going to blog about? My light fixture drama? I need a break from everything. And, to her credit, so does the poor friend who asked such an innocent question… are you looking forward to your vacation? Clearly she needs a break from my maniacal rants.

Her response to the aforementioned rant?

She stood leaning casually against the doorframe in my office, nodding her head & waiting for me to either blackout or shut up, & finally offered this clearly rhetorical question, “Have you meditated lately?’

Um, no. But I’ll do that as soon as I find the off switch for the carnival music.

It is my hope that this break will allow me to return relaxed & full of creative energy.

I’ll be back in a week, with a great Feature Art Friday post starring Ron Burgundy.

Carl Jung & the over-caffeinated gnat

“What did you do as a child that made your hours pass like minutes?

Here is the key to your earthly pursuits.” – Carl Jung

Lately I’m feeling a little lost, running from one project to another & only accomplishing “just enough” to move on to the next thing. The truth is that I am having a hard time finding balance between being at my professional life during the day & coming home to work on my creative life afterwards. In an effort to stay very focused on my day job all day & immediately focus on my creative efforts at home, I find that I can’t stay focused on anything too long these days. I have the attention span of an over-caffeinated gnat.

I’m so thankful for my job & have so much gratitude to have really good secure employment, especially with the current state of the economy. I'm also very grateful to have the opportunity & support that allow me to be creative. My issue is that I am really having a hard time finding my way back & forth on the path between these two very different parts of myself. I’ll figure it out.

Certainly there is a method to this madness; clearly people navigate this path successfully all the time. I’m just not sure how. The practical grown up in my head is focused on saying things like “current economic climate” while the child in me just wants to sit in the sun & make pretty things. No wonder I’m feeling this way- there are a practical adult & an artsy child in my head wrestling over the keys. Careful who you put your money on in that fight… I think that kid is a biter.

Feature Art Friday: Dexter the Dachshund

Adequacy

Lately I feel adequate.

Nothing more, nothing less.

Sufficient.

Equal to the need.

For most of my life this has been comfortable, but adequate no longer feels comfortable- it is, as I type, becoming decidedly UNcomfortable. Like a tiny rock in my shoe that I keep stepping on. “Oh, you again.”

Adequacy served its purpose. I would now like to walk it to the door, thank it for coming, pat it on the back & send it on its way.

And it can take its irritating little rock with it.

Laughing at you

Endia (I love her 'Price is Right' pose) & Jennifer

Friday I was invited to attend an art show starring my new artsy friends: Endia is an incredibly talented artist who teaches painting classes at the Arkansas Arts Center & her work was featured in the show. Jennifer, an attorney who moonlights as an artist & photographer was featured as the subject in one of Endia’s paintings. My iphone photos of the art behind a glass window really do it no justice. We all acted like children & took turns having our photograph made with Jennifer’s giant head.


My turn with the Jennifers

Here’s the best part…. This art show happened to be held on the ground floor of the building where Jennifer’s husband works. Only one painting was visible from the elevator in the lobby... & guess what it was. Imagine arriving at work one morning & while waiting for the elevator, you feel as if someone is staring at you. As the elevator approaches, you glance around & find yourself staring at your spouse’s giant head.

And she is laughing at you.

Feature Art Friday: Nelson the Great Dane

Seeing spots & playing in the studio

I have been absent for good reason- I've been involved in a long-term fight with a Great Dane. It wasn't as serious as it sounds since my disagreement was with a pet portrait rather than the 175 pound dog, but it was frustrating to say the least. You'll understand after you see the art, which will be featured this week for Feature Art Friday. I'm still seeing spots.

On the bright side (where there are fewer spots) now that I'm caught up on the pet portraits there has been a little time to play in the studio. Here's a little progress on some of the 'Ralph & Ron' art that will eventually be available in the Etsy store.

Doodle Mutiny

Little unfinished doodles whisper to me as I pass by, "Psst. What will I be when I grow up?"

My response? "Ask me later-after work, after laundry, after pet portraits..." 

I'm thankful that attention-seeking half-finished bits of art are incapable of staging a mutiny.