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Friday, January 4, 2013

Empty-handed


Experiencing an enormous amount of change over the last few months has fostered in me a desire to reassess things. Nothing in particular and everything all at once. Now that the holidays are over & we are as a family, settling into our new life, I feel a need to take a deep breath. Taking the exact life I had in early October & just adding 3 children to it would be crazy. To begin with, I just stripped away everything that wasn't completely essential- no art, no anything extra. I basically slid down Maslow's Hierarchy & landed on my butt at the bottom... but that was what seemed necessary for my family. Now that we are in a bit of a groove & know each other a little better, it's time to start adding back the things that make me who I am. So herein lies the need for assessment. What needs to stay? What needs to go? What do I just need a break from temporarily?

Over the last few days I have been contemplating all of the changes, some that have been discussed here & some that haven't yet... because it is just too soon... I started reading 'A Book of Awakening' by Mark Nepo. This day book is filled with short insights to remind us to be present; the passage for January 2nd jumped out at me. In much more poetic language than my own, Nepo explains that we often cannot carry everything through a door. Who has not had the experience of balancing too many things while trying to unlock or open they door, often with full hands & a phone held precariously between our ear & shoulder? I would be embarrassed to say how many times I have done this, often with disastrous results. The point is so simple. We just need to put everything down. Literally & figuratively. Physically & emotionally. Put everything down, walk through the door & then pick up what you need to bring in with you in that moment. You can always come back for the rest.

So as I assess this new life, in this new year, I'm going to listen to Mark Nepo & put everything down, including the blog. At least for a little while.

I'll be back for you soon.