Tuesday, September 17, 2013

I have a plan.

For real, I have a plan. This is a phrase that tends to strike fear in anyone directly in my path, other than my best friend who (obviously) immediately gets on board with any scheme I come up with. The only thing worse than me saying "I have a plan" is the two of us together saying, "We got this." This happens less often now that she unfortunately lives several states away... but the world is probably a safer place, depending on who you ask. (Anyone but the two of us.) The last time we were together when that line was uttered we found ourselves driving approximately 10 miles in 45 degree weather with the windows of her car rolled down so that we could hold a 4' x 4' sheet of plywood to the roof of her car. Her geriatric dog had arthritis & was having trouble with the back steps, so this is the project we focused on during my 24 hour stay. What can I say? I love dogs. And my best friend. 

I know what you are thinking...why didn't we just tie it down to the roof of her car? Duh. (eyeroll.) We did. And we were so focused on tying it down really well that we accidentally did so after the doors of the car were closed. I'll let that sink in for a second.

So there we were, two middle-aged women climbing in the windows of her car Dukes of Hazard style, at 10:00 a.m. one morning, laughing hysterically while reminding each other that we really should both make more time for yoga. For the person who watches the security camera footage of the parking lot at Lowe's Home Center in Richmond, Virginia, you are welcome. I sincerely hope you laughed so hard you peed your pants.

It's funny how everything really is relative. You know how a quarter doesn't seem like much money, until you just need one more nickel to have enough to get a soda from the machine, and you find a WHOLE QUARTER? Sweet! Jackpot! We were discussing this as we sat at stop lights & pleaded with them to stay red so we could keep our now blue hands inside the car in front of the heat vents. Normally, two super cold people would be pretty disappointed in finding one set of gloves, but we immediately started high-fiving each other with our one free hand after scoring this awesome find. She immediately put one on her left hand & I took the glove for my right hand.

As we crawled out of the car windows in the front yard of her new house, we congratulated each other on how much more graceful our exit from the car was than the much more public entrance, discussed what quick learners we were & wondered how many YouTube videos were made of us so far that day. We discussed how disappointed her 20 year old daughter would be to have been absent for our latest adventure... although now that I think about it, she hasn't really been out in public with both of us much in the last couple of years. It almost seems intentional.

So anyway, I have a plan... one that will make every other member of my household play a one-sided game of hide-and-seek from me until it is finished & make my friend wish she was here for the trip to the store. I'm going to turn the garage into an art studio. 

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