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Friday, January 4, 2013

Empty-handed


Experiencing an enormous amount of change over the last few months has fostered in me a desire to reassess things. Nothing in particular and everything all at once. Now that the holidays are over & we are as a family, settling into our new life, I feel a need to take a deep breath. Taking the exact life I had in early October & just adding 3 children to it would be crazy. To begin with, I just stripped away everything that wasn't completely essential- no art, no anything extra. I basically slid down Maslow's Hierarchy & landed on my butt at the bottom... but that was what seemed necessary for my family. Now that we are in a bit of a groove & know each other a little better, it's time to start adding back the things that make me who I am. So herein lies the need for assessment. What needs to stay? What needs to go? What do I just need a break from temporarily?

Over the last few days I have been contemplating all of the changes, some that have been discussed here & some that haven't yet... because it is just too soon... I started reading 'A Book of Awakening' by Mark Nepo. This day book is filled with short insights to remind us to be present; the passage for January 2nd jumped out at me. In much more poetic language than my own, Nepo explains that we often cannot carry everything through a door. Who has not had the experience of balancing too many things while trying to unlock or open they door, often with full hands & a phone held precariously between our ear & shoulder? I would be embarrassed to say how many times I have done this, often with disastrous results. The point is so simple. We just need to put everything down. Literally & figuratively. Physically & emotionally. Put everything down, walk through the door & then pick up what you need to bring in with you in that moment. You can always come back for the rest.

So as I assess this new life, in this new year, I'm going to listen to Mark Nepo & put everything down, including the blog. At least for a little while.

I'll be back for you soon.

2 comments:

  1. I have enjoyed reading your blog since the FL class although not commented much. Words cannot express my admiration for what you have taken on. Spend your time where you need to spend it now. Nepo is right, you can go back for the rest later if you need it. I will miss reading about your adventures. Take care! Lisa

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    1. Hi Lisa, thank you so much for your kind words- it's funny how a pat from a stranger can give you so much confidence in a choice you were unsure of to begin with. Thank you for taking the time to comment, I truly appreciate it. I'll be back soon.

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