Monday, November 5, 2012

Where I've been

I realize that I have some explaining to do & I'm not really sure where to start. We have been jumping thought the proverbial hoops with the state for about 18 months & recently found out that we would get to be the lucky adoptive parents of 3 little boys. Once things started happening it was like holding on to the wing of an airplane as it goes down the runway... there has just been a crazy, happy, hard whirlwind of activity for the last few weeks. Not one day has passed that I haven't ended up in a puddle of tears over how happy & scary it all is... & I am astounded & completely humbled by the kindness & support we have received. 

You might wonder why you haven't heard about this before- it's because there needed to be a space where I could come & not think about it, or be asked about it or wonder if it would actually ever happen. So I came here & talked about art & painting & other things that I love.

I'll still be talking about those things- once everything settles down. Right now I just want to be with my new family. Adoption is a crazy thing. Especially when you are willing to adopt older children & have no idea how old they will be or if they will be boys or girls... or any of the other million things parents wonder about. We made ourselves a little crazy sometimes wondering where they were, who there were & if they were in a good foster home. Was someone reading to them at night before bed? Did they feel loved? Luckily we now know that the answers were yes... at least for the last while. We have received more than kids, we have also received their foster parents who are now part of our family as well.

Sometimes I would silently say to myself "we are here...we are here..." because as much as I wondered where the children were, I couldn't help but think they might be wondering the same thing about us.

I will talk about them... eventually. It's important that you know that I will not talk about how they ended up needing parents or even their names... because how they ended up in foster care is their story to tell. Not mine. It is also not my place to tell you their names because once I put things out here on the Internet they can't be taken back... & they have had enough of their little lives discussed by adults who don't know them. 

So for now, I just wanted to explain where I have been. And that I will be back. But not today- because it's almost time to pick up my kids from school.